“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but dreams fulfilled is the tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12
Often this verse is read in such a way that unfulfilled dreams is what makes the heart sick, but in reality, this verse refers to hope being deferred as what makes the heart sick. When we lose hope for the dreams that are in our heart, our heart gets sick.
I love looking in the Greek and Hebrew definitions of words in the Bible. If we look into the word “hope” in this passage we find that the Hebrew word used here is “towcheleth” which means hope and expectation, and it comes from the root word “yachal” which means to wait, hope, and expect. When our hope and expectation is quenched, put off, or snuffed out, this is when our heart gets sick. It is not the actual loss of the dream; it is that we stop hoping for it.
The word “dreams” in this passage is the word “ta’avah” in Hebrew, and it means desire, wish, and longings of one’s heart. It comes from the root word “‘avah”, which means desire, incline, covet, wait longingly, wish, sigh, want, be greedy, prefer, or lust after.
Basically, I have hope for specific desires to be fulfilled. I have hope that my desire for a husband will be fulfilled. When I lose hope, my heart gets sick. When I find my husband, it is like a tree of life.
So how do we maintain our hope when circumstances seem to dictate that our dreams are unlikely?
Let’s take a look at Joseph’s life:
Then Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. He said to them, “Please listen to this dream which I have had; for behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and lo, my sheaf rose up and also stood erect; and behold, your sheaves gathered around and bowed down to my sheaf.” Then his brothers said to him, “Are you actually going to reign over us? Or are you really going to rule over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.
Now he had still another dream, and related it to his brothers, and said, “Lo, I have had still another dream; and behold, the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” He related it to his father and to his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have had? Shall I and your mother and your brothers actually come to bow ourselves down before you to the ground?”
- Genesis 37:5-11
Joseph did not see the fulfillment of his dream for 20 years; during which time his brothers threw him in a pit to die, he was sold into slavery, falsely accused, and sent to prison.
King David also has a story of his destiny being delayed:
Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have selected a king for Myself among his sons.”…
And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are these all the children?” And he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and behold, he is tending the sheep.” Then Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him; for we will not sit down until he comes here.”
So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with beautiful eyes and a handsome appearance. And the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him; for this is he.” Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward.
- 1 Samuel 16: 1, 11-13
David did not assume the throne for another 10-13 years; during which time he was hunted, persecuted, and rejected by those closest to him.
So the question becomes: How did they endure? How did they keep their hope up?
“Moreover David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all the people were embittered, each one because of his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.” – 1 Samuel 30:6
We as humans find ourselves in this tension every day. We have been given a promise, a prophetic word, dreams, and desires, but we have run into obstacles, disappointment, rejection, loss, and failure. How do we respond to such circumstances?
“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.” - Proverbs 4:23
All the issues of our lives flow forth like rivers from one central location – the heart – and what we do in stewarding that one place determines the outcome of our lives. Strengthening ourselves in the Lord, just as Kind David did, is an essential part of stewarding our heart. Often when our heart feels pain and disappointment, they are warning lights to let us know how we are doing and that we need maintenance. Similar to a check engine light, when that signal comes on, we need to go to the mechanic to check and see what is going on.
Strengthening ourselves in the Lord becomes calculated responses to the warning lights of my heart. The only way I can use the tools of strengthening myself in the Lord is to establish foundational truths in my thinking – truth about the nature of reality, who God is, and who He has made me to be. These truths help me identify my heart signals. I love the saying, “If there is any area in my life that is not glistening with hope, I am believing a lie about God or who God has made me to be.” Any heart signal that does not align with glistening hope is a warning signal.
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he… “ – Proverbs 23:7
Identify the Problem
The first step in this process of strengthening yourself in the Lord is to identify the problem. What heart signals are going off? What are you feeling?
Anxiety
Fear
Grief/Sadness
Anger
Frustration
Hopelessness
Despair
What is the root cause of these emotions? What happened?
Difficulty
Hardship
Rejection
Loss
Failure
Bill Johnson, in his book Strengthen Yourself in the Lord, brings a balanced perspective on identifying the problem, but then moving forward:
One of the primary ways that many believers need to be renewed in their perspective is by getting rid of the idea that intentionally ignoring the problems around them, and even within them, in order to give God praise and thanks, is irresponsible… Believers often fall into the trap of thinking they can find a solution by looking at a problem from every angle and letting it consume their world. But what happens is that the affections of their heart get drawn away from the Lord, to the point that they care more about the problem than giving Him what He deserves. They are letting other voices speak louder than His, and that is always irresponsible.
I have learned to ignore problems just enough so they don’t become a threat to the affections of my heart. I know I’m not being irresponsible because God has promised me over and over that if I am faithful to be who He has called me to be, especially as a worshipper, He is more than happy to bring the solutions. This does not mean you’re not to give attention to problems – but we need to address them from God’s perspective.
Meditate on God’s Nature & Character
Once we have identified the problem, the next step in strengthening yourself in the Lord is to meditate on God’s nature and character. As mentioned before, the only way you can use the tools of strengthening yourself in the Lord is to establish foundational truths in your thinking – truth about the nature of reality, who God is, and who He has made me to be. Some great verses to get you started are Psalm 103, Psalm 23, and John 17:13-26. God is good, God is all-powerful, and God loves you like crazy. I know I have to be reminded of this quite often in order to keep my perspective straight.
Keeping the Testimony
Another piece of strengthening yourself in the Lord is meditating on the fulfilled promises of God. This applies to your own life, the promises fulfilled in the Bible, and also promises fulfilled in other people’s lives. This will produce a heart of gratitude and thankfulness.
Another Kingdom principle is, “The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy” (Revelation 19:10). This means that what God has done before, He can do again. Meditating on what He has done will increase your faith for what He will do again. Also, keeping the testimony reminds us of God’s nature and character, reinforcing the truths we need to find strength in the Lord. Failing to keep the testimony not only makes us forget who God is, but who we are. The people of Israel in the Old Testament fell into this trap and we see the consequences over and over again.
Gratitude & Thankfulness
Strengthening yourself in the Lord has to include gratitude and thankfulness.
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” -James 1:2-4
Scripture challenges us not only to rejoice when we have joy, but also to rejoice in our pursuit of joy. There are countless studies that reinforce the fact that gratitude makes us healthier. In one study on gratitude, conducted by Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., at the University of California at Davis and his colleague Mike McCullough at the University of Miami, randomly assigned participants were given one of three tasks. Each week, participants kept a short journal. One group briefly described five things they were grateful for that had occurred in the past week, another five recorded daily hassles from the previous week that displeased them, and the neutral group was asked to list five events or circumstances that affected them, but they were not told whether to focus on the positive or on the negative. Ten weeks later, participants in the gratitude group felt better about their lives as a whole and were a full 25 percent happier than the hassled group. They reported fewer health complaints, and exercised an average of 1.5 hours more. This study alone should demonstrate the power of gratitude and thankfulness.
Meditating on Your Identity
Establishing truths in your thought process about who you are will allow you to strengthen yourself in the Lord because God has the final word on defining your identity.
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” - Ephesians 1:3-5
Check out the following verses to continue meditating on how God sees you:
Ephesians 2:6-10
1 Corinthians 3:16-17
1 Corinthians 6:11
2 Corinthians 5:17-21
Rarely in this world are we affirmed for our intrinsic value and worth because God created us and loves us. We are bombarded constantly with why we are not enough, why we don’t measure up, and have reason to question our value and worth. Meditating on your identity in Christ sets you free from the lies of the world that would tell you anything other than what God thinks about you.
Engaging with Covenant Community
Covenant is an interesting word. Ultimately it is an agreement of obligations between two or more parties. The benefits of Biblical covenant is love, honor, exchange of life, refreshment in our connection to our purpose and identity, vision renewed, calling us back to who we are in Christ, and the hope, promises, and joy in covenant are infectious. Bill Johnson makes an interesting proposition:
The standard we set for our ears can attract heavenly strength that comes through interactions with other people who speak and live from a heavenly perspective. Therefore, by purposefully associating with people who share our values and controlling our interactions with people who don't, we strengthen ourselves.
Covenant establishes an agreement that allows the spiritual reality that governs your life to flow to the other person, and vice versa. This is why it is so vital to develop friendships with people whose lives consistently display the fruit of the Kingdom. When we steward covenant friendships with people of faith, we stay connected to a growing source of strength that often greatly determines our ability to persevere through difficult times.
It is no surprise to anyone that when you are going through a hard time it is nice to have a support system to encourage you along the way. We are created for these kinds of relationships. When you engage in covenant relationships you are strengthening yourself in the Lord because we are designed to love and be loved in the good times and the hard times.
A Lifestyle
Strengthening yourself in the Lord is not a one-off task; it is a lifestyle of never letting anything get bigger than your consciousness of God’s presence. The practical step when you encounter a negative experience is to do whatever you need to do in order to realign with who God is and what He is thinking. That may be meditating on His character and nature, keeping the testimony, practicing gratitude and thankfulness, meditating on your identity, or engaging with covenant community. You can’t just know in your head that God is bigger than the problem; you have to have your entire being in a position where you are aware of His presence and expect His world to invade your life and circumstances. If you don’t sustain this expectation, you will expect other forces to be the prime movers in your life, and you will begin to live defensively instead of offensively.
Promises, Promises
The greatest places of lack or disconnect in our lives are the very places where God intends to bring us into our greatest victories – if we will take the risk to step out on our promises.
Strengthening yourself in the Lord is all about being prepared to receive and steward the fulfillment of our promises. What are the promises that God has spoken into your life?
It is worth getting your hopes up… value the day of small beginnings so that you can celebrate how far you have come from those beginnings.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9
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